Third time's the charm?

Today I saw some photos a friend took of me at the weekend and I just lost it. If there's a rock bottom it's where I'm at now. But that isn't necessarily a bad thing. For when you hit bottom the only way to go is up.

So, more than two years have passed since I started this journey and where am I? Well, the last year has been filled with changes that have seen the scales climbing higher than they have for more than a decade. Have my weeks of dieting been in vain?


I've been doing a great deal of thinking in recent weeks about the weight issue - mainly as giving up smoking three months ago just pushed my weight up that little bit faster. Now, I've given up giving up smoking in the past due to weight gain. And you know what? It might stop you gaining more, but it certainly doesn't help you shed your added pounds.

So, I've been trying the nonchalant approach to my increased girth. It worked especially well in those pre-xmas weeks but it's wearing thin now. I think (and hope) that I am far enough along with quitting that I can now tackle the weight without undoing those painful early weeks of withdrawl.



Here's what I think about why my weight's on the up... and how I hope to sort it. To help me stick to it, I'm going to think of them as the Golden Rules.



1. If you can walk the distance, do it!

-- Since passing my driving test last April I have found myself lulled into choosing the car for all of my travel needs. Not only is it bad for my waistline, it's bad for my body generally, my son's health and the environment.

2. If you can't make the effort for yourself, don't let that ruin others' health

--My son and dog both deserve - and need - at least a 30 minute non-stop walk each day. Since starting work in June I have found myself arriving home and vegging out on the sofa each night. When the dog does get a 'walk' it tends to be a short one to the field nearby where I simply throw the ball repeatedly without working my legs at all.

3. Breathe in, breathe out and relax

--Rather than sitting at my desk at lunch time, I will endeavour to have at least a 15 minute walk each day to clear my head and destress.

4. Try something new!

-- There are more ways to exercise than aerobics. My hips and knees are particularly bad at the moment with the weight gain, so low impact alternatives will be given priority. But, each month I will attempt at least one new pursuit.

5. Go slow

--Rather than rely on the cooking delights of others who don't cook for you but for their bank balance, explore with food and enjoy the art of slow cooking. Handpicking all ingredients and growing them myself where possible adds a new dimension to the process while removing unnecessary sodium, preservatives and chemicals.

6. Spot the saboteur within

--Yes, I am my own worst enemy. Identifying the cues that lead to falling off the wagon and understanding their roots should kerb their impact on my waistline. Often my girth is directly related to how I'm feeling about my current relationship, workplace stresses or parenting abilities. The more shaky each of those areas look, the wider I grow. Perhaps I am trying to physically make myself appear stronger and sturdier when I'm feeling quite fragile... Or even trying to punish someone for not loving me in the way I need... A bowlful of food can quickly quiet any negative thoughts in the head. So, whatever those throughts, I think I need to deal with them once and for all and avoid shutting them down with a bite to eat.

7. Nourish yourself

--Choose foods that deal with specific problems within the body.

(NB: This one might require a visit to a nutritionist!)

8. Spoil yourself with kindness

--Chocolate and rich foods might make you feel temporarily good. But before indulging think of other ways to make yourself feel even better. How about a self-indulgent soak accompanied by a good back - or even a trashy magazine - in the bath?

9. Don't bottle up

--I am seen by some as a very patient person who just *doesn't* get angry. That's possibly because I shove chocolate or some other food stuff in my mouth at the first rise of the adrenalin. Rather than quash it with food, keep it in or lash out at anyone unlucky enough to be in the vicinity, I will blog. Writing is, for me, the best release as noone gets hurt and I guess I get to avoid conflicts.

10. You aren't the victim - you are the addict

--No one has forced this food into my mouth. But years of training have allowed me to develop an addictive relationship with food. After a binge I am often sat there in a dulled state - unable to function. It isn't a high - it doesn't feel good. It just doesn't let me feel anything AT ALL. Understanding this negative relationship with food and controlling its impact on your day-to-day life can only help you achieve more in life than ever before.

I used to say that the problem with my addiction was that I had to face food at every corner - whereas with cigarrettes you can give them up and avoid being around them forever. But, my problem isn't with all food... I think it's just the processed, high sugar, high fat offerings. And you know what, I CAN and WILL cut these out because it isn't anywhere as hard as I think it will be.

Other rules will, no doubt, be added in the weeks and months to come. But, there's a real pattern developing here. I think the only way to get on the wagon - and stay on - for good is increasing my activity levels and switching to a natural, homecooked diet. When it comes to food itself, I'm eating a more varied diet than before I started WW and still use low-fat substitutes where possible. I've just added things like chocs and takeaways into the mix...

So, watch this space... I believe it's the start of something fantastic!

Weigh In - Week one (Mark II)

Hopped on the scales feeling slightly nervous this evening. You see, I have had a few hiccups this week...Fortunately the gods of dieting were on my side and I registered a loss of 6lbs. Of course, I am pleased with the results. However, I do know that if I managed several social situations a bit better I would have possibly seen a larger loss.

Take Saturday for example. I went to the cinema with the best of intentions. I saved a few points for a snack and a diet soft drink. Unfortunately I chose a snack that required incredibly strict willpower - of which I had none... I opted for the massive bag of Maltesers which weighed in at a whopping 16 points. I planned to simply eat the equivalent of a small bag's worth which only costs 3.5 points and pass it on to the others. Hearing the reply 'no thanks' to my offer left me perplexed...and reaching into the bag.

The funniest bit of this is that I really didn't even want a sweet snack. I longed for the ultimate movie treat - popcorn. And guess what? I found out yesterday that a small bag of salty goodness is only 3.5 points....

So, I guess this is just one of many lessons that I will learn that fall into the book of 'Point before you eat'!

Back on the wagon again...

You'll notice a massive gap between that last post and this one...yes, my good intentions fell by the wayside. The last twelve months have been a rollercoaster with studying, family, illness and well, general hedonistic eating. It seems that life got in the way...a little at first. But, I soon used it as an excuse to fall back into a more dangerous eating cycle.

Rather than get back to the point counting that served me so well, I've foolishly toyed with 'lose weight quick' schemes...and seen the weight creep back on. From taking apple cider vinegar (ghastly) to living a low carb life - it seems I have tried it all. With each venture a new half stone seems to have appeared despite losing as much as 8lbs in a week.

However, it hasn't all been bad...My attempt at giving up smoking fell astray after 3 weeks due to weight gain (2 stone!) - but I am still working on freeing myself from it for good. One thing I have rid myself of completely is caffeinated diet soft drinks. Loaded with aspartame, they left me feeling tired and anxious. It has been three weeks now and I feel a million times better for it and it has left me feeling like I can conquer anything. The weight and the cigs being the top of that list.

While I could view my rejoining Weight Watchers as a fresh start, I am opting to frame it as continuing my weight loss journey. After all, this is by no means a short-term plan...as I think I previously envisioned. So, where am I now....

A pilot scheme in Cornwall is underway which has allowed the NHS to join forces with WW. As my BMI meets the criteria, I have been given 12 weeks of free vouchers for meetings. There are several other aspects to this programme, however they have been oversubscribed :(

Last Tuesday I had my first weigh-in. My current weight is 15 stone 2 or 212lbs. Oddly enough, I can still fit into the size 16 clothes which I splashed out on last year when I was some 2 stone lighter. But, I won't lie - they are damned tight! Unfortunately, my measuring tape has gone walkies so I have no idea how many inches I have added onto my frame....and right now I'm not so sure that is a good idea.

Although this break has seen me gain some of my loss, it has helped me recognise that WW is the way forward as well as realise mistakes I have made. One of my biggest hurdles over the past 18 months has been the threat of the scales....they can become all-consuming even for the most disciplined of dieters. For the next few months my scales shall lay dormant. To ensure I don't fall back into this vicious weighing cycle I have hidden them away without the necessary batteries.

It won't be easy - but I will get there. I might have regained but at least I know that I am still 36lbs lighter than I was when this journey began in January 2007.

Wish me luck!

Bit blurry...but all I can say is - what a difference 26 weeks makes. Yes, today marks 6 months of WW. I haven't lost anything this week, but I thought I should celebrate sticking with the plan for so long.

Physically, I feel more comfortable in my own skin, although I have become more critical of my appearance. But the changes in appearance are nothing compared to how my internal workings are running and the health implications I had from carrying the excess weight. My BMI was originally in the morbidly obese category at 42. By losing a third of my 248lb frame, I have cut my risk of Type 2 diabetes, coronary heart disease and all but eliminated my joint and back pains.

Shapewise, my body has transformed and I actually feel like I have a shape...oh and I can SEE my toes for the first time in years! My chest has decreased from 48" to 43". My waist has gone from 43" to 35". My hips have shrunk from 51" to 43". As for my thunderthighs, they have gone from 28" each to 24.5"....so that would be an inch loss of 28".

I know the next 26 weeks will not be anywhere near as easy as the first 26, but I can see the end in sight. My goal, I think, will be 133lbs - just 38lbs away. I am hoping to step up exercising as I'd like what remains of my frame to be toned and to look as fit as it feels. My next major goal will be my 100lb mark at 148lbs. I'm hoping to be there by the end of September - particularly as I'm away on hols in August and I need a real incentive to remain on track while there!

Feeling Posh

Reading that last post, I must confess that my superficial damage sort of set me back for a few weeks there...although I kidded myself a touch that I was letting my weight "stabilise"!

College has finished now until October, so really I have no excuse not to exercise...I have had a sneaky peek on the scales since my last weigh in (178 lbs) and it is looking like I just might get my 30% and 75lb goal on Monday if my weight registers at 173lbs...but really as long as it's no more than 177lbs, I'll be happy.

Despite not losing pounds, I can feel my body changing shape. Since my last measurements in May, I've lost an inch off my waist, an inch of my hips and 1/2 inch off of each of my thighs...so officially, they're only 3" bigger EACH than Posh Spice's waist....yes -even one thigh couldn't fit into a size zero garment...something which I can't be completely disheartened with as I'd rather be a size 16 than a size 0 anyday...but closer to a 12 would be nice :)

Ouch!

I fell off the wagon a few days ago, but luckily have only suffered some superficial damage...I hopped on the scales quickly on Tuesday morning after my long weekend away and it looks like a 2lb gain. 2lbs in 4 days? I'm really hoping I didn't have the 7,500 calories required to gain that!

I need to look at why I overate and how I can avoid doing it in the future. I suppose one positive thing about my overeating in this instance was (probably for the first time ever) I wasn't stressed out prior to eating and it wasn't a binge so much as overindulgence. Sunday was the worst day- Chinese and we'd overordered food! I'm not a takeaway girl anymore - mainly as I don't live near any shops like that and I don't have a car to get there - so I was a bit lost on points values. So here's what I found:

Chinese vegetables with: Beef 1 cup = 6
Chicken 1 cup = 5
Pork 1 cup = 7
Shrimp or Tofu 1 cup = 4
Egg drop soup 1 cup = 1
Egg rolls: Beef or Pork 1 (4 1/2" long) = 5 chicken or shrimp 1 (4 1/2" long) = 4
Hot and sour soup 1 cup = 2
Lo mein, any type 1 cup = 8
Rice, fried, with beef, chicken, pork, shrimp, or plain 1 cup = 8
Stir-fry with garlic or black bean sauce beef or pork 1 cup = 8
chicken or shrimp 1 cup = 7
Sweet and sour: beef or pork 1 cup = 12 chicken or shrimp 1 cup = 10 sweet and sour sauce 1 tbsp = 2

Well, with one portion of egg-fried rice and 1 1/2 pots of other stuff, it would look like I had at least 20 points in one meal! I was uncomfortably full to say the least. I suppose it wouldn't be so bad except that I had another meal on top of that - mashed potatoes, sweet corn and 2 thai fishcakes which were probably another 15 points!

So, enough's enough...have to get back to basics. I was good on Tuesday but Wednesday threw me some obstacles I couldn't work around. I was catching up at work at college and assumed that I would be able to get lunch at the college...All 4 restaurants were shut - leaving me with McDonalds as the only option! Had a quarterpounder with cheese meal with medium fries - 15.5pts and for dinner we ordered pizza delivery. I didn't have any pizza but opted for some chicken strips at 7points - putting me 1.5 pts over for the day :(

So what's the plan today? Me thinks I need to go shopping and get the right foods in the fridge and larder - vegetables, lean meats and low-point options! I'm only 1/2 way to goal and I need to work extra hard to get to the finish post. Let's hope that this weekend gone has given me a taste of how just a few days off the wagon can set me back! Let's hope a few days on the wagon will get me back to where I was!

Feeling bouncy!!

For the past few days, I've been playing, wobbling and falling off my gym ball. It's really good fun - I mean, what is there you could hate about it? I've been trawling the internet for video clips and exercises that can be done using the ball and I've come up with a few of interest.

Ask Men have some fantastic video clips which feature the only piece of gym equipment which has ever brought a smile to my face!


I have to confess an almost-morbid fixation with YouTube videos featuring the ball. For starters, I'm on the lookout for wobbles and falls...surely it can't just be me that has NO balance whatsoever. However, I must say that I am impressed with the level of fitness that can be gained in using the ball. What girl doesn't smile at the sight of a rippling 6-pack! Also, there's no ladylike way to put it, but like yoga's way of shifting emissions, the ball tends to be a noisy bit of fun - if you catch my drift (not literally, of course). Why I'm looking for wobbles and wind? Not sure - just would love to see someone having as much fun as me using it....Perhaps I'll post my own viddy sometime....then again, perhaps not!!